Stevie Wonder says it's not the way...

But we are gonna need all the help we can get.

So, I've intrigued myself.

I talked in my last post about superstitions, and since work is boring today, I've decided to do some research. I figure, with this upcoming "adventure" (idiocy) of living on a boat, we need the help. My first thought was to gather up all the fishermen I know, and ask them all what they've done to make boating life better. Turns out I don't know any fishermen. So, while I guess the internet isn't quite old enough to be considered an "old salt," and quite frankly I don't know how much sea time my computer has, it turns out it can be a good source of information these days... (didja know they have the internet on computers now?*) So I looked around and found some more sailor's superstitions:

- Don't wear a black coat on the pier, and don't use black traveling bags.
- Don't have a boat whose name ends in "A" (Lusitania, HMS Victoria, and Titanic for example)
- If you give another person a match on a Monday, break off a piece of it before handing it over.
- Don't leave home port on the 13th (especially not Friday the 13th).
- If you want to successfully cross a sea-monster breeding ground (apparently these are marked on charts, but I've never seen one in my Navy career) throw the youngest crew member overboard as a sacrifice (Thank God I'm older than Jessi).
- To appease the Old Man of the Sea and ensure a good voyage, take a shot of rum, and then pour a shot of rum overboard.
- Like posted before: no women, unless they are naked OR pregnant. (I'm gonna have to vote for naked on this one!)
- Never store Garlic near the ship's compass (or GPS maybe?).
- When removing your shoes, if they land upside down, your boat will soon turn upside down.
- Never speak the words "pig", "egg", "rabbit", or "13" (I know that last one is more a number than a word, but it is kinda both too... Philosophical discussion anyone?) Any mention will bring a storm.
- Dolphins are lucky, and always welcome to help guide you.
- Mark Twain said you should never have a preacher and a white horse on the same boat (This shouldn't be tough).
- When stepping aboard, use your right foot first or disaster will surely strike. (I'll cut your left leg off if need be to guarantee this one)
- Handing a flag thru the rungs of a ladder is bad luck.

OK well that's enough for now. There are so many of these friggin things it's a wonder anyone is not attacked by sea-monsters during a huge storm at night breaking their vessel apart after turning it upside down, the crew never to be seen again. I think we're in a tough spot here!

Anyone know of any other biggies I'm forgetting? Please, help!!

-Tom



*I learned this from Homer